Zombie Attack Survival Plan

I would like to take a moment to speak to you all about the inevitable upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Do you and your family have a plan for World War Z? Many families ignore this threat, disregarding it with the unlikely scenarios of a tornado or a syphilis outbreak. However, just imagine what would happen to you and your loved ones right now if the living dead started attacking?

Here is a scenario : You're at home, on the couch, when suddenly brain-eating ghouls are at your door. Your first instinct is to protect yourself and those you care about, right? But alas, you never discussed with lil Timmy about where to go or what to do in the event of zombie apocalypse, so he tried to run home and got bitten, and is now currently breaking your door down to suck your brains out of your skull.

In short : If you don't want to have to kill your own children with a 12 gauge pump then you need to organize where to meet, where to hide, and how many people your Zombie Attack Shelter can hold safely.

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Permalink Reply by Jenni Powell on March 27, 2009 at 1:25pm: ...and in the world of comedy, that is what we call "bringing it full circle".

Not that the Zombie Apocalypse is any laughing matter!

GregGallows said:
Well, I do have a whole bunch of potatoes, and the Sham Wow Swiffer Snuggie does make awesome Julianne Fries.

boryalic said:
What about the fries man? Ketchup and no fries !!!! Dude we gotta have some fries up in there. Who can bring the fries?

Rob Tomorrow said:
You are all welcome to come share my abandoned missile silo in case of a Zombie attack, we have been preparing for years, we are fully stocked with plenty of duck tape. urethane plastic sheeting, kerosene, blue cheese dressing, sperm whale oil (don't worry it's synthetic we didn't kill any whales), nylon rope, and ketchup.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by boryalic on March 27, 2009 at 2:07pm: Potatoes will do for the fries but of course now we need sour cream and butter in case we want to eat them baked. Maybe we just need a cow. O and a bacon bits tree for all you carnivores.

GregGallows said:
Well, I do have a whole bunch of potatoes, and the Sham Wow Swiffer Snuggie does make awesome Julianne Fries.
boryalic said:
What about the fries man? Ketchup and no fries !!!! Dude we gotta have some fries up in there. Who can bring the fries?

Rob Tomorrow said:
You are all welcome to come share my abandoned missile silo in case of a Zombie attack, we have been preparing for years, we are fully stocked with plenty of duck tape. urethane plastic sheeting, kerosene, blue cheese dressing, sperm whale oil (don't worry it's synthetic we didn't kill any whales), nylon rope, and ketchup.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by boryalic on March 27, 2009 at 2:10pm: O and by the way did I mention that this is one of my favorite threads EVER.
I just don't see us ever getting bored of this.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ApotheosisAZ on March 27, 2009 at 2:27pm: I have discovered that the zombies are becoming more techno-savvy and are using the internet themselves. Evidence is provided here:

http://www.brains4zombies.com/; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by boryalic on March 27, 2009 at 2:34pm: OK after looking at that site I feel like the apocalypse is closer than we thought. So should we start acting really really dumb so the smart Zombies wont eat us?

ApotheosisAZ said:
I have discovered that the zombies are becoming more techno-savvy and are using the internet themselves. Evidence is provided here:

http://www.brains4zombies.com/; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by GregGallows on March 27, 2009 at 2:53pm: My ... God ...

They are selling separate varieties of brains?!?!1

I think that might be our only hope, Bory.

boryalic said:
OK after looking at that site I feel like the apocalypse is closer than we thought. So should we start acting really really dumb so the smart Zombies wont eat us?

ApotheosisAZ said:
I have discovered that the zombies are becoming more techno-savvy and are using the internet themselves. Evidence is provided here:

http://www.brains4zombies.com/; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jenni Powell on March 27, 2009 at 5:28pm: Shouldn't be too hard for you two.

OOOOOOOOOOOH! Sick burn! :)

GregGallows said:
My ... God ...

They are selling separate varieties of brains?!?!1

I think that might be our only hope, Bory.

boryalic said:
OK after looking at that site I feel like the apocalypse is closer than we thought. So should we start acting really really dumb so the smart Zombies wont eat us?

ApotheosisAZ said:
I have discovered that the zombies are becoming more techno-savvy and are using the internet themselves. Evidence is provided here:

http://www.brains4zombies.com/; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jenni Powell on March 30, 2009 at 8:41pm: Anyone else feel like the solve to the puzzle today is further proof that the Zombie Takeover is coming even sooner then we think?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Wintermute on March 31, 2009 at 8:27am: Virginian9000 said:
Even though the neighbors complained, I diligently made myself a impenetrable room in my house. Now to load up on food supply for a year, namely Funyuns and cereal. If we are under a zombie attack, I think eating healthy will be the least of my worries.

What? Wait! Funyuns aren't heathly?! That might explain why I can barely outrun the slow-moving zombies these days...

'mute; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jenni Powell on April 4, 2009 at 2:37am: http://twitter.com/SurviveZombies; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by boryalic on August 15, 2009 at 10:05am: How did we overlook this before? I feel safer already just having watched a few.

I suggest this be made required viewing for all involved in this thread.

How To Survive A Zombie Attack; ▶ Reply to This

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